Monday, February 22, 2010
Thanks, EA!
great big middle finger to EA. I bought Sims 3: World Adventures online via digital distribution because I didn't feel like going out to buy it. But, the catch here is: it's a fucking 13 hour download. Thanks, EA. As always, right up my ass.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Issues With Digital Distribution
I know what you're thinking "He's going to bemoan the prevelence of incomplete products shipping because of the allowance of downloadable patches!" Fuck no. That's been a problem since day one. Shit for computers always ships broken for someone, somewhere. You just never heard about it before because the internet didn't allow all those dip shits to yell about it to anyone who can hear. You ever try to play Aces Over Europe on a 486? Required a boot disk. Lots of self-patching to get it to run on any system with any less than 16mb of ram. But the box said it'd run with 8mb! A pox on you who forgets about broken games of the past.
No, my problem is this: micro-transactions. Micro-transactions are ruining everything. Well, not everything... but they're adding a level of "Capcom/EA/Activision/Valve shitting on our faces" aspect to the proceedings. I'm an avid Sims player. I've been playing the game since 2000. I bought every expansion pack (from Livin' Large to Makin' Magic or whatever that last abortion was) but I neglected to get a single pack for Sims 2. Now that Sims 3 is out I've been playing the game for about six months. I like it a lot more than the previous installments of the games. But I bought it online. I recently came to find out that EA Downloader isn't the amazing benevolent downloader that Steam is. No. I've got games on Steam that I purchased 6 or 7 years ago tied to an e-mail account that automatically come up when I install Steam onto a new OS or computer. My original borrowed copy of Half-life has followed me across 3 computers and countless OS installs. But EA will only give me one year with Sims 3, then I don't get to download it again if I need. They originally offered a service that would extend your ability to re-download a game for 3 years for the mere cost of $6. I refused. I guess when I need to reinstall the Sims 3 after a year, I'll just pirate it (showing that fucked up DRM leads to pirating).
But that's just one issue with digital downloads. The other issue is that the idea of "micro transactions" is placed in the head of the developer. They know that they can trickle customized items, new levels and new skins to us via download and charge us for them. Lost in Nightmares is a perfect example, as are the downloadable levels for The Force Unleashed. In both games, they offer extended gameplay via downloadable content, but somewhat overcharge for underwhelming results. Force Unleashed, in itself, was a fairly lackluster game. Beautiful graphics and amazing physics, but it lacked variety and any kind of story development. The problem was: the story had multiple endings, meaning that any content released taking place after the game would simply assume which ending took place. And the storyline was defunct in the downloadable content. Some taking place after the light side some taking place after the darkside ending. With Lost in Nightmares, they used a flashback from the game to release a paltry hour long episode. And each level costs about 5 dollars. And doesn't add much, if anything, to the game experience.
Valve and Rockstar have been good about this, offering episodic content at a reasonable price. Their initial episodes: Half-Life Episode 1 and Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and the Damned offered games that were a fraction of the length and price of GTA:IV and Half-Life 2, yet had almost as much content per dollar. The outcome was a welcome shift in release format. It was somewhat reminiscent of Liberty City Stories and Vice City Stories, but with less content. (I'm still waiting on San Andreas Stories, by the way!)
But the transactions are getting more expensive and smaller. EA is by far one of the worst offenders of this. With Mass Effect 2 they are bundling in a secret code to access EA's distribution program VIA Xbox Live in new copies to curb people away from buying used copies. Initially this is not a big deal, given the launch releases were somewhat lack luster, but they are releasing seemingly episodic content that people who purchase used games will have to pay for. This gimping of the core experience is solely used as a means to prevent people from buying the used copy and essentially dry up the market.
So... The Sims? The Sims was proof they could do this to us. With each expansion pack they gave us a new game experience. And eventually they started selling us the same experiences over and over again. EA and Maxis perpetrated this atrocity of the industry. Companies like Lucasarts, Microsoft and Activision learned about this formula and promptly began anally raping us.
Don't complain that digital distribution has allowed the shipment of broken games, as it's allowed us to fix those broken games. Rather, digital distribution has simply given the companies a way by which to sell us the same experience over and over again for meager amounts of money that add up. The bonus materials packaged in later ports of certain games (IE: Resident Evil 4 on PS2) have been much more eloquently designed and executed than most extra downloads offered to us by any company short of Rockstar or Valve.
Suck my cock, EA. I want my fucking Sims to be playable this time next year you fuck-tards.
(If anyone from EA ever reads this, I apologize. I was rather upset that I had to "pirate" my copy of Sims 3 in order to reinstall it after a harddrive failure. The new Origin Client has solved that problem, I appreciate your addressing these sorts of concerns, even if it wasn't directly to/from me.)
No, my problem is this: micro-transactions. Micro-transactions are ruining everything. Well, not everything... but they're adding a level of "Capcom/EA/Activision/Valve shitting on our faces" aspect to the proceedings. I'm an avid Sims player. I've been playing the game since 2000. I bought every expansion pack (from Livin' Large to Makin' Magic or whatever that last abortion was) but I neglected to get a single pack for Sims 2. Now that Sims 3 is out I've been playing the game for about six months. I like it a lot more than the previous installments of the games. But I bought it online. I recently came to find out that EA Downloader isn't the amazing benevolent downloader that Steam is. No. I've got games on Steam that I purchased 6 or 7 years ago tied to an e-mail account that automatically come up when I install Steam onto a new OS or computer. My original borrowed copy of Half-life has followed me across 3 computers and countless OS installs. But EA will only give me one year with Sims 3, then I don't get to download it again if I need. They originally offered a service that would extend your ability to re-download a game for 3 years for the mere cost of $6. I refused. I guess when I need to reinstall the Sims 3 after a year, I'll just pirate it (showing that fucked up DRM leads to pirating).
But that's just one issue with digital downloads. The other issue is that the idea of "micro transactions" is placed in the head of the developer. They know that they can trickle customized items, new levels and new skins to us via download and charge us for them. Lost in Nightmares is a perfect example, as are the downloadable levels for The Force Unleashed. In both games, they offer extended gameplay via downloadable content, but somewhat overcharge for underwhelming results. Force Unleashed, in itself, was a fairly lackluster game. Beautiful graphics and amazing physics, but it lacked variety and any kind of story development. The problem was: the story had multiple endings, meaning that any content released taking place after the game would simply assume which ending took place. And the storyline was defunct in the downloadable content. Some taking place after the light side some taking place after the darkside ending. With Lost in Nightmares, they used a flashback from the game to release a paltry hour long episode. And each level costs about 5 dollars. And doesn't add much, if anything, to the game experience.
Valve and Rockstar have been good about this, offering episodic content at a reasonable price. Their initial episodes: Half-Life Episode 1 and Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and the Damned offered games that were a fraction of the length and price of GTA:IV and Half-Life 2, yet had almost as much content per dollar. The outcome was a welcome shift in release format. It was somewhat reminiscent of Liberty City Stories and Vice City Stories, but with less content. (I'm still waiting on San Andreas Stories, by the way!)
But the transactions are getting more expensive and smaller. EA is by far one of the worst offenders of this. With Mass Effect 2 they are bundling in a secret code to access EA's distribution program VIA Xbox Live in new copies to curb people away from buying used copies. Initially this is not a big deal, given the launch releases were somewhat lack luster, but they are releasing seemingly episodic content that people who purchase used games will have to pay for. This gimping of the core experience is solely used as a means to prevent people from buying the used copy and essentially dry up the market.
So... The Sims? The Sims was proof they could do this to us. With each expansion pack they gave us a new game experience. And eventually they started selling us the same experiences over and over again. EA and Maxis perpetrated this atrocity of the industry. Companies like Lucasarts, Microsoft and Activision learned about this formula and promptly began anally raping us.
Don't complain that digital distribution has allowed the shipment of broken games, as it's allowed us to fix those broken games. Rather, digital distribution has simply given the companies a way by which to sell us the same experience over and over again for meager amounts of money that add up. The bonus materials packaged in later ports of certain games (IE: Resident Evil 4 on PS2) have been much more eloquently designed and executed than most extra downloads offered to us by any company short of Rockstar or Valve.
Suck my cock, EA. I want my fucking Sims to be playable this time next year you fuck-tards.
(If anyone from EA ever reads this, I apologize. I was rather upset that I had to "pirate" my copy of Sims 3 in order to reinstall it after a harddrive failure. The new Origin Client has solved that problem, I appreciate your addressing these sorts of concerns, even if it wasn't directly to/from me.)
Resident Evil 5: Lost in Nightmares/Mercenaries Reunion (XBL)
This was short... too short. So short, in fact, that it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I'm a huge Resident Evil fan, and trust me... I downloaded and played Lost in Nightmares immediately upon it's going live (yeah, I don't have a life).
So, what's my gripe about this? Well, first of all: all those static cameras that people were talking about are an easter egg you must find (I've heard by opening the front door three times), the puzzles that Capcom's been talking up suck, the enemies are pretty lame and the weapons don't carry over from the main game.
I'll tell you about the puzzles. I can count them on my fingers. The first one, Jill gets trapped under a slowly descending spiked ceiling and Chris must find and flip a switch to turn it off in time. The ceiling is slow and you have ample time to do it. The switch turns out to be much closer to you than you anticipate. The other puzzles are two "find'a'crank" puzzles, one "Boost Jill up to unlock the door," "Play a piano," "Flip a switch" and two "find the amulets/half-circles/medallions/pendants/keys" puzzle. A good approximation of about an hour of playing Resident Evil, but in Lost in Nightmares the puzzles were all solved (with the exception of two) within the same room as the door/prize.
The enemies suck. Hardcore. We (the fans of the series) thought there were to be zombies... nope. Just weird looking guys. And the "Guardian of Evil" that we thought would be the next Lisa Trevor? Nope. Goes down like a little bitch. And the only way Capcom could make him tougher was a dirty "if you shoot him too close to you, you get poisoned" mechanic, the occasional "fight more than one" trick and my favorite: "we took all your weapons away!" fight. I actually suspect him of being a re-skinned Executioner from RE5. And, other than a major spoiler that the main game gave away, that's all the enemies in the game.
Oh, and the weapons! That's great. You get an upgraded M9, find one Magnum and one Sniper Rifle. End of the weapons. I spent a lot of time upgrading the weapons in my inventory for the main game. Why the hell can't I use the infinite ammo Chaingun in this?! Thanks, Capcom.
That's pretty much it for Lost In Nightmares. I spent a lot more time in Mercenaries Reunion and even sprung the extra money for the new costumes. I love playing as Barry and Excella. Chris' new character is pretty awesome, too. The Hydra shotgun will stop anything dead in their tracks, while Barry's Samurai Edge combined with his "Headbutt" manuever make for an amazing way to get 30+ combos. Reunion is much easier than the original Mercs mini-game in RE5, but it's still fun. Everyone of the characters feels like you're playing as Hunk or Krauser in Mercs RE4. Nobody stands a chance against in you Mercs Reunion.
Lost in Nightmares:
Pros: It's Resident Evil, the atmosphere is reminiscent of the original 1997/2002 game.
Cons: Doesn't add anything to the story, short, uninspired enemies, unlockables don't carry over.
Overall: 5/10
Get if you like: Resident Evil to the point that you spent WAY too much money on it already.
Mercs Reunion:
Pros: It's easier than the original, fun as hell, new characters, you get to play as Barry
Cons: It's easier than the original, enemies seem dumber, you have to pay for new costumes (160ms points per two), two of the costumes are included in "Lost in Nightmares".
Overall: 7/10
Get if you like: Mercs in RE4 more than RE5
So, what's my gripe about this? Well, first of all: all those static cameras that people were talking about are an easter egg you must find (I've heard by opening the front door three times), the puzzles that Capcom's been talking up suck, the enemies are pretty lame and the weapons don't carry over from the main game.
I'll tell you about the puzzles. I can count them on my fingers. The first one, Jill gets trapped under a slowly descending spiked ceiling and Chris must find and flip a switch to turn it off in time. The ceiling is slow and you have ample time to do it. The switch turns out to be much closer to you than you anticipate. The other puzzles are two "find'a'crank" puzzles, one "Boost Jill up to unlock the door," "Play a piano," "Flip a switch" and two "find the amulets/half-circles/medallions/pendants/keys" puzzle. A good approximation of about an hour of playing Resident Evil, but in Lost in Nightmares the puzzles were all solved (with the exception of two) within the same room as the door/prize.
The enemies suck. Hardcore. We (the fans of the series) thought there were to be zombies... nope. Just weird looking guys. And the "Guardian of Evil" that we thought would be the next Lisa Trevor? Nope. Goes down like a little bitch. And the only way Capcom could make him tougher was a dirty "if you shoot him too close to you, you get poisoned" mechanic, the occasional "fight more than one" trick and my favorite: "we took all your weapons away!" fight. I actually suspect him of being a re-skinned Executioner from RE5. And, other than a major spoiler that the main game gave away, that's all the enemies in the game.
Oh, and the weapons! That's great. You get an upgraded M9, find one Magnum and one Sniper Rifle. End of the weapons. I spent a lot of time upgrading the weapons in my inventory for the main game. Why the hell can't I use the infinite ammo Chaingun in this?! Thanks, Capcom.
That's pretty much it for Lost In Nightmares. I spent a lot more time in Mercenaries Reunion and even sprung the extra money for the new costumes. I love playing as Barry and Excella. Chris' new character is pretty awesome, too. The Hydra shotgun will stop anything dead in their tracks, while Barry's Samurai Edge combined with his "Headbutt" manuever make for an amazing way to get 30+ combos. Reunion is much easier than the original Mercs mini-game in RE5, but it's still fun. Everyone of the characters feels like you're playing as Hunk or Krauser in Mercs RE4. Nobody stands a chance against in you Mercs Reunion.
Lost in Nightmares:
Pros: It's Resident Evil, the atmosphere is reminiscent of the original 1997/2002 game.
Cons: Doesn't add anything to the story, short, uninspired enemies, unlockables don't carry over.
Overall: 5/10
Get if you like: Resident Evil to the point that you spent WAY too much money on it already.
Mercs Reunion:
Pros: It's easier than the original, fun as hell, new characters, you get to play as Barry
Cons: It's easier than the original, enemies seem dumber, you have to pay for new costumes (160ms points per two), two of the costumes are included in "Lost in Nightmares".
Overall: 7/10
Get if you like: Mercs in RE4 more than RE5
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles (Wii)
In preparation for the release of Resident Evil 5: Lost in Nightmares coming up, I took the time to play through Umbrella Chronicles properly. I purchased this game the day it came out, forever ago, and only played it for a few minutes. I wasn't impressed with it initially and ultimately gave up on it.
I'm a Resident Evil fan, always have been, always will be. They've rarely done wrong with the main series and have generally shat on the chest of their fans with their spin-offs like this. So, I didn't give it any credence.
A couple years pass and I'm gung-ho about Resident Evil in preparation of the release of RE5's DLC. So I track down my UC disc, pop it in the Wii and play through the game in it's entirety. Didn't take long. One night and one afternoon's worth of gameplay.
It was decent, but it definitely wasn't good. Here's the skinny. It's a light gun game that's on rails with a few forks you get to choose. All you do is shoot. I have to admit that the mindless shooting makes it accessible to people who are not that adept at playing videogames. My girlfriend caught up on Resident Evil via this game. While she only watched RE4, 5 and the first half of REmake. This caught her up on 0, the second half of REmake and 3: Nemesis. The extra bits and second scenario are what really drove it home.
While the gameplay was weak and lame (to me, at least), the story pertaining to the extra levels was amazing. There's an Ada storyline that takes place after 2 but before the end of 3. There's a Hunk storyline that takes place right after the events of the first day of 3: Nemesis. As well as a story relating to how Rebecca Chambers got in the position she was in during the first game. Not to mention the extensive Wesker story-arc. That is the specific reason this game exists. That and the last scenario in the game. The final scenario details the hunt for Umbrella that Jill and Chris vow during the main series. This is something that we never get to experience; outside of Claire's foray onto Rockfort island during Code Veronica. This final scenario in the game really helps me understand what Chris and Jill were doing during the flashbacks of Resident Evil 5 and the upcoming DLC Lost in Nightmares.
The graphics and camera in the game are pretty crappy. It looks like a lightgun game from the Xbox/Gamecube days. I guess that makes sense. It's built on the RE4 game engine and runs on the Wii. It doesn't look as cool as the Wii edition of Resident Evil 4. But, the weapons are a mix of guns from all the previous Resident Evil tites (including the venerable Handcannon. Which became the first and only gun I upgraded. Until I had infinite ammo!) which made this little Resident Evil fan/gun nut bust a nut. The camera is pretty shaky. It's like the Blair Witch at times. The camera shakes and wobbles with your character's movement and makes it hard to hit certain items.
The game, in classic Resident Evil fashion, the game ranks and rates how you play. It's based on how many times you hit the enemy, how many items you destroy (which is fun, since there's so much stuff to destroy!), how many files you collect and how many "critical hits" you score. Don't get me started on that last one. The common zombies in this game are actually some of the hardest enemies to kill. They take multiple head shots from most guns and I can't even count how many shots from the Samurai Edge they take to the body before they go down. The Hunters, Lickers, Chimeras and messed up monkey things generally take a couple of shot gun rounds to put down... but the zombies... they take more than a few shotgun rounds. And that's on easy. On hard or medium... it's like they're wearing armor. In order to score a one hit kill on the zombies, you have to hit a dime sized portion of their foreheads in order to cause them to explode. Fuck you, Capcom.
This game really primes the pump for Resident Evil 5. It sheds light on exactly what Krauser, Wesker, Ada and Umbrella are up to in 4 and 5. I can easily recomend this to Resident Evil fans. But a Wii gamer who is not an Resident Evil fan should stay the fuck away.
Pros: Awesome story line and story filler, helps explain why RE5 is what it is, we love our Wesker.
Cons: Blair Witch style camera work, sub-par graphics, zombies eat bullets like fat kids eat jelly beans, light gun games are so 1993.
Play this if you like: Resident Evil games, House of the Dead, Area 51, Time Crisis, etc... etc...
Overall: 6/10
I'm a Resident Evil fan, always have been, always will be. They've rarely done wrong with the main series and have generally shat on the chest of their fans with their spin-offs like this. So, I didn't give it any credence.
A couple years pass and I'm gung-ho about Resident Evil in preparation of the release of RE5's DLC. So I track down my UC disc, pop it in the Wii and play through the game in it's entirety. Didn't take long. One night and one afternoon's worth of gameplay.
It was decent, but it definitely wasn't good. Here's the skinny. It's a light gun game that's on rails with a few forks you get to choose. All you do is shoot. I have to admit that the mindless shooting makes it accessible to people who are not that adept at playing videogames. My girlfriend caught up on Resident Evil via this game. While she only watched RE4, 5 and the first half of REmake. This caught her up on 0, the second half of REmake and 3: Nemesis. The extra bits and second scenario are what really drove it home.
While the gameplay was weak and lame (to me, at least), the story pertaining to the extra levels was amazing. There's an Ada storyline that takes place after 2 but before the end of 3. There's a Hunk storyline that takes place right after the events of the first day of 3: Nemesis. As well as a story relating to how Rebecca Chambers got in the position she was in during the first game. Not to mention the extensive Wesker story-arc. That is the specific reason this game exists. That and the last scenario in the game. The final scenario details the hunt for Umbrella that Jill and Chris vow during the main series. This is something that we never get to experience; outside of Claire's foray onto Rockfort island during Code Veronica. This final scenario in the game really helps me understand what Chris and Jill were doing during the flashbacks of Resident Evil 5 and the upcoming DLC Lost in Nightmares.
The graphics and camera in the game are pretty crappy. It looks like a lightgun game from the Xbox/Gamecube days. I guess that makes sense. It's built on the RE4 game engine and runs on the Wii. It doesn't look as cool as the Wii edition of Resident Evil 4. But, the weapons are a mix of guns from all the previous Resident Evil tites (including the venerable Handcannon. Which became the first and only gun I upgraded. Until I had infinite ammo!) which made this little Resident Evil fan/gun nut bust a nut. The camera is pretty shaky. It's like the Blair Witch at times. The camera shakes and wobbles with your character's movement and makes it hard to hit certain items.
The game, in classic Resident Evil fashion, the game ranks and rates how you play. It's based on how many times you hit the enemy, how many items you destroy (which is fun, since there's so much stuff to destroy!), how many files you collect and how many "critical hits" you score. Don't get me started on that last one. The common zombies in this game are actually some of the hardest enemies to kill. They take multiple head shots from most guns and I can't even count how many shots from the Samurai Edge they take to the body before they go down. The Hunters, Lickers, Chimeras and messed up monkey things generally take a couple of shot gun rounds to put down... but the zombies... they take more than a few shotgun rounds. And that's on easy. On hard or medium... it's like they're wearing armor. In order to score a one hit kill on the zombies, you have to hit a dime sized portion of their foreheads in order to cause them to explode. Fuck you, Capcom.
This game really primes the pump for Resident Evil 5. It sheds light on exactly what Krauser, Wesker, Ada and Umbrella are up to in 4 and 5. I can easily recomend this to Resident Evil fans. But a Wii gamer who is not an Resident Evil fan should stay the fuck away.
Pros: Awesome story line and story filler, helps explain why RE5 is what it is, we love our Wesker.
Cons: Blair Witch style camera work, sub-par graphics, zombies eat bullets like fat kids eat jelly beans, light gun games are so 1993.
Play this if you like: Resident Evil games, House of the Dead, Area 51, Time Crisis, etc... etc...
Overall: 6/10
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Mass Effect 2 (360)
Ok, motherfucker: this shit is sick.
I played the hell out of the first game, and in the past month or two, I have played the hell out of this one. I'm currently about 1/3 on the insane difficulty, and trust me: it's fucking insane.
I'm swearing so much because of how awesome this game is. I mean it, it's amazing.
I do have a few issues, however. The weapon and armor system is much more limited than in the first game. This game, you get maybe 2 or 3 different versions of each gun and 1 or 2 sets of armor. It lacks the variety of Mass Effect, but it makes up for it in sheer awesomeness of story.
There's one thing that the fellows at Bioware never let down on: story. Christ is the story in this one epic. I admit, it's not as lengthy as the original, but it really throws you for a few loops and makes you go "what the fuck?!" from time to time.
Trust me: it's very well worth it. I didn't run into any of the problems that other reviewers have with the game, so I have only the one complaint.
Overall, I give it a 9.73452791048 out of 10.
I played the hell out of the first game, and in the past month or two, I have played the hell out of this one. I'm currently about 1/3 on the insane difficulty, and trust me: it's fucking insane.
I'm swearing so much because of how awesome this game is. I mean it, it's amazing.
I do have a few issues, however. The weapon and armor system is much more limited than in the first game. This game, you get maybe 2 or 3 different versions of each gun and 1 or 2 sets of armor. It lacks the variety of Mass Effect, but it makes up for it in sheer awesomeness of story.
There's one thing that the fellows at Bioware never let down on: story. Christ is the story in this one epic. I admit, it's not as lengthy as the original, but it really throws you for a few loops and makes you go "what the fuck?!" from time to time.
Trust me: it's very well worth it. I didn't run into any of the problems that other reviewers have with the game, so I have only the one complaint.
Overall, I give it a 9.73452791048 out of 10.
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